How to feel good about me and love me?

hi, i am extremly big for my age 16 and i weight 240, i want to lose weight but for some reason i am scraed to , alkso i have low self eestm, i live in a place where the light skinned black girls get all the attention and boys and the brown skinn and i get blowed of as the big dark skinned girl, i love my skin color but when people make fun of it it gets me down real down this summer i promised myself to lose weight but i just cant i dont have a lot of money to buy healthy food but i do work at subway plus a lot of people say i am pretty but it seems like i dont care about myself and i just dress any way so how can i began to care get my self esstem back and dress better and love me plus do anybody know where i can get name brand clothes and bags for cheap or less because 2000 isnt going to work for me pleasee help i two seconds away from just draining in self pity